As we search for our Purpose, we are left with a world of opportunities and challenges. In my own experience having good ideas of what my purpose could be is much different than really fulfilling my purpose….. that is what this article is about. I want to talk about the gap between possibility and reality, That middle ground bridged by commitment. This is the difference between habitual fence sitting and decisive growth towards who we want to be and who we can become. In order to fulfill our purpose we must be invested, even committed. The etymology of the word Commitment provides great insight into what it means to be all in. It stems from the Anglo-French word meaning “the pledging or engaging of oneself, a pledge, a promise” and later “an obligation, an engagement”. As tempting as it is to follow the etymological trail provided by the words used in this definition, it is sufficient for the purpose of this article to use the definitions above.

Over the past few weeks as I have had this rough draft sitting in my blogger profile, I’ve had quite a few experiences that have helped me think about my own commitments. For example, my college soccer season just ended. After many losses and a large amount of frustration with our chemistry and some incongruous expectations, I was left momentarily reexamining my own commitment to the sport that I love. After returning home from my mission where I was committed to habits that were easily formed and easily sustained, I was confronted with more real life situations such as sustaining those habits that were now harder to keep and harder to recreate. These situations provided for great opportunities to reassess my commitment and brought me face to face with the issues at the core of commitment. With soccer I expected wins or at least increased unity for my efforts. In returning from my mission I expected to be able to just as easily create and maintain habits. Neither of my expectations were met and I was left pondering why I was still so committed to those things that were not yielding what I felt they should.

In a series of jumbled thoughts, I began to realize that I played soccer because of its effect on my life outside of soccer and I live the gospel for its effect on my life outside of what might be seen as the gospel. I was looking at the costs and benefits of playing soccer from the scope of soccer alone…. not on its influence in other seemingly unrelated parts of my life. The same goes for the Gospel and the habits formed through gospel living. Within the small scope of soccer and the Gospel the goal is to win, to make it home a winner. It is easy to be committed when the habits or routines associated with success actually point you towards the end goal, but what about when they don’t? What happens when we don’t feel like it is worth it? What happens when the work we do is not accompanied by success or accomplishment? I worked out just as hard and hurt much more than ever before and we were not winning soccer games… I read scriptures and prayed just as often as ever and did not feel as connected to God as I hoped. In other words the patterns and routines that were supposed to point me towards my goals were frustrating me because I was focused on the lack of results coming from them. I learned that I am playing soccer because it provides mental clarity, leadership opportunities, and because I love Soccer. I am committed to living the Gospel because it provides mental and spiritual stability outside of those times when I pray or when I read, but mostly because I Love God.  Now…. I love the gospel and I love soccer, I love to workout and do sprints and I love to pray and read the scriptures but I am not committed to those things just because I want to succeed. I am committed to them because I love them or because I have attached the things I am most committed to, to someone or something that I most love. I love God therefore I love the Gospel for pointing me towards him. I love Soccer therefore I love the hardwork that goes into being able to play it.

Exploring these thoughts and the reasons behind my commitment to these two areas of my life lead me to one simple belief. Being committed or devoted is much more than an emotion or a moral contract… it is a trait we cultivate of being fully engaged and wholly invested in something, someone, or some cause. That is the only thing that can explain why when sprinting hundreds of times didn’t make me any faster, happier, or help me to win any more games… I kept running. That is how I can explain when I did not particularly feel spiritually strengthened from reading the scriptures and praying that I kept praying and reading. Commitment is Devotion. Devotion is being committed to those things or those special people that we love. Devotion is “selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle”. Devotion is being all in.

J. Aldus Simmons